Recent Blog Posts

Making a custody order work around your disability

 Posted on October 01, 2022 in Family Law

Many parents have to plan their child custody order around work and schooling. A parent who takes night classes may have a hard time scheduling to have their child over at night. Likewise, parents who work on-call jobs may not be able to see their children for long.

You may not realize this, but a parent with a disability may also have a hard time making a child custody order work. Here's what needs to be considered when the parenting plan is created:

Doctors appointments

People who have some kind of disability often have to regularly see their doctor. These appointments may be scheduled months or weeks apart. The time a parent spends at their doctor's may be impeding the time they see their child - this is just one of many things to consider when creating a custody order.

Medical treatment

Some people with disabilities have medical problems that cause them to seek emergency help and treatment constantly. Parents may need to consider how their child is cared for if they or the other parent suddenly need to be admitted to a hospital.

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Signs that your spouse is gaslighting you during your divorce

 Posted on September 15, 2022 in Firm News

What is gaslighting? It refers to psychological manipulation that causes the target to question their sanity. However, gaslighting is far from simple.

Those with narcissistic personalities commonly use gaslighting to discredit the target while improving their own credibility. However, some can display gaslighting behaviors without knowing what they are doing, especially during an emotionally trying divorce.

Common gaslighting behaviors

If you are unsure whether your soon-to-be-ex is gaslighting you, the fact that you are considering it makes it a valid concern. To help you firmly identify gaslighting, look for the following behaviors:

  • Assigns blame for hardships or problems to you or outside factors-but they never blame themselves.
  • Dismisses your feelings by insisting that you are overly sensitive or have no reason to feel a particular way.

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Potential predictors of divorce

 Posted on September 09, 2022 in Divorce

It is impossible to accurately predict all divorce cases. Many couples who split up never thought they would do so, and there were no signs from the outside that it was coming. There are also couples that stay together when everyone believes they're on the verge of divorce.

That said, statistically speaking, there are a few predictors of a divorce. It's important to know what these factors are so that you can understand how likely divorce may be for you.

Your parents got divorced

People with parents who got divorced may be more likely to get divorced themselves. This could simply be because divorce is now an example that they've seen in their own lives, so they're quicker to think of it than someone whose parents have not gotten a divorce.

You got married young

Getting married young can put a lot of stress on a marriage. It's often harder to make ends meet, and both people have a lot of growing up and changing to do together. For this reason, it's been found that getting married early - prior to 32 - makes it more likely that people will split up eventually.

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Handling difficult co-parenting messages

 Posted on August 24, 2022 in Child Custody

Going through a troubled divorce usually means that both exes are on edge. Communication can often be tense, but it's still necessary if they have children together. There may come a time when you get a contentious message from your ex. Determining how to handle this might be challenging.

You have several options to consider when trying to determine how you'll respond to the message. Be sure you think about what's best for the children before you make your decision about what to do. Part of co-parenting is making sure that you don't let the tension between you and your ex impact the children.

Should you reply?

Whether you should reply or not depends on a variety of factors. If the message is directly related to the children, you may have to reply. But, if it's not about the kids, it might be best to just walk away. If you do decide to answer, keep it focused on the children.

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Do you have to go through mediation before divorcing?

 Posted on August 10, 2022 in Divorce

When you're going through a divorce, one of the things that can make it easier is going into mediation with your spouse. Mediation brings you together with a third party to discuss your options and to make sure you both have unbiased information.

Mediation can work well for those who are willing to work together. It can also be a good way to resolve minor disputes if you and your spouse are happy to hear some potential options to resolve them or get some guidance from a third party.

Is mediation necessary?

Mediation is not required in Virginia. In fact, by law, you don't have to go through mediation before you get a divorce like you might have to in other states even though you will go to a dispute resolution orientation session in some cases. However, mediation is still a good idea. It gives you an opportunity to work out problems you have with one another now, so you can avoid trouble in the future. You might also be able to keep your case largely out of court and make sure you and your spouse get more of what you want out of your marriage by saving time, money and effort with mediation.

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Do you have to share the family pet after divorce?

 Posted on August 08, 2022 in Divorce

Situations involving a pet can get complicated during a divorce. You may be unsure of exactly what's going to happen or if you're going to need to share them. Some people even talk about setting up a custody arrangement.

You can set up a custody arrangement yourselves, if you and your soon-to-be-ex are on good terms and you want to share the pet. Parents sometimes do this so the children can stay with the pet all the time. However, no matter how you see your family pet, in most states, including Virginia, the law sees that pet as property. This means that the court isn't going to set up a custody agreement in most cases.

When you got the pet can make a difference

Another important question to ask is simply when you got the pet and who the legal owner is. Say that you and your spouse adopted it together after you got married. This makes it a marital asset considering that, as noted above, the law looks at your pet as nothing more than property. If only one of you wants to keep the pet, you'll have to agree on some type of division, such as allowing one person to have the pet and the other to have an asset with an equal value.

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Factors that can increase the cost of your divorce

 Posted on July 27, 2022 in Family Law

The differences in your marriage have become irreconcilable, so you and your spouse have decided to pursue a divorce. While very few divorces are straightforward, some are more complex than others.

Ideally, you'd like to conclude your divorce as quickly as possible, without incurring too many financial charges. What factors could increase the cost of your divorce and how are these best avoided?

Property division

You and your spouse own a family home, several cars, and some antiques and you also run a business. Your spouse never had anything to do with the business, and you're of the opinion that it should remain solely in your hands after the separation. Unless you drafted an agreement before the divorce, this could be difficult for you to argue.

Ultimately, if you and your spouse can't agree on how valuable assets are to be distributed, then this will have to be litigated in the courts. The courts in Virginia will divide property based on the equitable distribution doctrine. This means that assets will be divided based on what is fair to all parties. Property distribution can take time to settle, and the longer your divorce goes on, the more money you'll have to spend.

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What can your ex use child support for?

 Posted on July 10, 2022 in Family Law

You know that you're going to be ordered to pay child support during the divorce. It feels inevitable. The income disparity between you and your ex is just too great. Though you are going to share custody, you're still going to have to make those payments.

What you're worried about is that your ex is going to use that money for themselves, not for your child. So what are they allowed to use it on?

Examples of potential uses

The truth is that there are a lot of different potential uses, but they all have to focus on the child. Your ex is not allowed to use the money strictly for themselves. include:

  • Basic necessities - This could include things like food, clothing, shoes and the like.
  • Education - This may include things like uniforms or books.
  • Medical care - This money can cover co-pays or expenses that are not insured.
  • Transportation - Transportation is necessary for school and custody exchanges.
  • Activities and entertainment - This may include things like extracurricular activities, sports teams, summer camp and much more.

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Continuing your FEHB coverage after divorcing a federal employee

 Posted on June 29, 2022 in Divorce

While health insurance may not be your primary concern as you divorce, it's crucial for those who have relied on their spouse's employment for their own health insurance coverage to take steps to make sure they have coverage once that divorce decree is signed. Spouses of federal employees and retirees are better off in that area than many spouses of those who work in the private sector.

If you have Federal Employees Health Benefits (FEHB) coverage through your spouse, you can have continued coverage as long as you meet the FEHB "spouse equity" provisions. These are the following:

  • You were covered under your spouse's Self Plus One or Self and Family plan at least one day during the 18 months before your divorce.
  • You are entitled to receive part of your spouse's retirement or survivor annuity.
  • You apply for continued FEHB benefits within 60 daysafter your divorce is final.

If you meet these qualifications, you cancontinue on an FEHB plan as long as you don't remarry before you turn 55.

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Can you date during your divorce?

 Posted on June 17, 2022 in Divorce

You married your partner when you were young, but now that you've both grown and been together for a few years, you've realized that you aren't a great fit. You want to move on and start dating other people, but you haven't even started the process of divorcing.

Is it okay to begin dating once you start your divorce? When is it appropriate to have another relationship? These are great questions.

Most attorneys agree that you should wait

In most cases, attorneys agree that you should wait to date until your divorce has been finalized. There are a few reasons for this, such as:

  • Minimizing the risk of accusations of adultery
  • Helping avoid claims of using assets on another party
  • A lower risk of conflicts between the new partner and old one
  • A lower risk of child custody or parenting conflicts

You shouldn't start dating someone before you file, and even then, you may want to wait until you're able to separate your assets and get your living situation sorted out. While some divorces can take a long time, many are settled relatively quickly. Virginia requires a mandatory one-year waiting period, but that could be waived if there are grounds for divorcing sooner. For example, if you have evidence that your spouse cheated on you, then the judge may agree to allow you to divorce sooner.

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