Do You Want a Healthy Co-Parenting Relationship Post-Divorce?

 Posted on March 11, 2026 in Child Custody

Many people are aware of the disheartening statistics around children of divorce. Divorce can affect everything from their grades to the success of their own future relationships. The American Psychological Association cites loneliness, self-esteem struggles, and depression as some of the effects divorce has on many children, especially in high-conflict situations.

Thankfully, there are steps you can take to help your kids adjust and, ultimately, thrive. The first is to do your best to make co-parenting with your ex-spouse a positive experience. Research shows that children do better when both parents work together, even after a separation. If you are going through a divorce in Fredericksburg and need guidance on custody and co-parenting arrangements, a Fredericksburg family law attorney can help you plan for what comes next.

Good Communication Is the Foundation of Healthy Co-Parenting

Co-parenting requires you to stay in regular contact with someone you may have a lot of complicated feelings about. It’s not easy. Doing your best to keep communication respectful and focused on the children, though, is one of the most important things you can do.

You and your ex-spouse don’t need to talk about anything outside of your kid’s needs if it will be an unproductive conversation. Stick to topics like schedules, school, health, and activities. Avoid bringing up old grievances or issues from the marriage.

It helps to decide early on how you will communicate. Some parents find that texting or email works better than phone calls because it gives both people time to think before responding. There are also co-parenting apps designed specifically for this purpose, with shared calendars, messaging tools, and expense tracking. If direct communication is too difficult at first, a family mediator or attorney can help you set boundaries and create a plan that works.

How Can a Good Parenting Plan Help Your Co-Parenting in Virginia?

A parenting plan is a written agreement that spells out how you and your co-parent will raise your children. Spouses can (and are encouraged to) submit their own plans to the court, which the court will review and approve if it believes they are in the best interests of the child.

Good things to consider in your plan include:

• Regular custody and visitation schedules
• How holidays, school breaks, and birthdays will be handled
• Who has the right to make decisions about education, healthcare, and religion
• How each parent will be notified about emergencies or important events
• Rules about travel, especially out of state
• How the plan will get updated as the children grow

If you can’t agree on custody and visitation arrangements, the court will step in and make decisions based on the criteria in Virginia Code § 20-124.3. Coming up with your own plan is preferable not just because you get more control of the final outcome, but because it gives you and your spouse the opportunity to set expectations with each other going forward.

Keeping the Children's Needs First

While you decide on a parenting plan, remember that its purpose is to best serve your children’s needs. It can be easy to let your personal feelings about your co-parent influence decisions, but part of healthy co-parenting is supporting your child's relationship with their other parent, even if it is difficult for you.

What Should I Do If My Co-Parenting Arrangement Is Not Working?

If something comes up that makes a parenting plan unworkable, you can petition the court to alter it. Courts need a solid reason, called a "substantial change in circumstances," for changing parenting plans. This can include a new job, a job loss, a serious illness, or needing to move.

If your co-parent is consistently not following the parenting plan, you have legal options. You can file a motion for enforcement or, as mentioned above, request a modification to the parenting plan.

If you notice early signs that the arrangement is not serving your children well, don’t wait for things to get out of hand. Speak with an attorney about your options. Addressing problems early is almost always better than waiting until the situation becomes a crisis.

Call a Stafford, VA Family Law Attorney Today

A healthy co-parenting relationship is possible, even after a difficult divorce. It takes effort and patience, but your children are worth it. If you need help setting up or modifying a parenting plan in 2026, our Fredericksburg custody lawyers at Meyer & Bowden, PLLC are here to help. 

Attorney Meyer has been recognized as a "Top Divorce Lawyer" by both Washingtonian Magazine and Northern Virginia Magazine. Our firm brings over 50 years of combined experience to every case, and we work hard to keep clients out of litigation and solve problems as efficiently as possible. 

We believe that the more prepared you are for your divorce case, the better off you’ll be in the long term. Call Meyer & Bowden, PLLC at 703-722-8692 today to schedule your consultation.