Children May Have Different Questions About Divorce

 Posted on March 24, 2026 in Divorce

One of the scariest parts of your divorce might be thinking about how you’re going to answer any questions your kids have. Kids have a way of cutting right to the heart of issues, and you might feel like you’re not prepared for their innocent but direct questions. If this feels like where you’re at now, a Prince William County divorce lawyer can help you come up with a plan for the many different questions you may be fielding over the next few months. 

Talking to Your Kids About Divorce in 2026

At some point, you are going to have to sit down with your children and explain what is happening. If you can’t give them good answers, they’re likely to try to find or make up bad answers somewhere else. Better to get information from you than from their friends or the internet. 

The most important things to remember are to be age-appropriately honest, and to be mindful of the timing and tone. Choose a moment when you are not rushed and when they can ask as many follow-up questions as they need.

While parents are focused on the emotional or logistical parts of losing a relationship, children tend to think about their day-to-day world. Be prepared to answer questions like these:

• Do we have to move to a new house?

• Will I have to change schools?

• Will I still get to see my friends?

• Why is this happening?

• Did I do something to cause this?

• Am I still going to see both of you?

• What happens to our pet?

Of all the questions a child might ask, the hardest one for many parents is some version of "Is this my fault?" Address this immediately and directly. Children often internalize family conflict in surprising ways that don’t always align with adult reality. You should be ready to help your child understand that this is a decision you and their other parent are making because it seems like the best choice for your family – but definitely not because of anything your child did. 

Having a plan for these conversations, and even rehearsing them out loud with yourself, will help your child feel more confident in your answers.

How Virginia Law Handles Divorce When Children Are Involved

Virginia courts make all custody and visitation decisions based on the best interests of the child. Virginia Code § 20-124.3 lists factors judges consider, including each parent's role in the child's life, the child's relationship with each parent, and each parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent.

Your divorce will deal with two different types of custody: 

Legal Custody

This refers to who has the authority to make major decisions about the child's life. This includes things like education, healthcare, and religion. Virginia courts often award joint legal custody so parents can share in these decisions. One parent may be chosen by the court to have final say when there are major disagreements.

Physical Custody

Physical custody refers to where the child lives on a day-to-day basis. This can be sole, where the child lives primarily with one parent and visits the other, or shared, where the child spends significant time with both parents. Courts look at each family's specific circumstances and what arrangement best serves the child's stability and wellbeing.

Child Support

Child support in Virginia is calculated using a formula set out in Virginia Code § 20-108.2. It takes into account both parents' incomes and the amount of time each parent spends with the child. The court must approve any support arrangement.

Practical Steps to Protect Your Children’s Well-Being During Divorce

There are things you can do as a parent to ease this transition for your children. Some of these are:

• Keep routines as consistent as possible during the process.

• Avoid speaking negatively about the other parent in front of the children.

• Reassure children regularly that both parents love them and that will not change.

• Listen to their concerns without dismissing them, even when the questions seem small.

• Consider family counseling if children are showing signs of distress.

Be prepared to continue to answer their questions during the divorce process. You will likely have to have some conversations many times as your child’s understanding of the situation evolves. Don’t give them more information or details about adult issues than they can handle, but always be straightforward, and trust in their ability to adapt. 

Co-Parenting During and After Divorce

How you communicate with your spouse during the divorce and while you figure out custody issues will likely set the tone for how things will go after. Bear this in mind during this very emotional time. The Child Mind Institute encourages divorced parents to keep things as friendly as possible in front of the kids, even if you don’t feel friendly at all. Try to be as respectful as possible, and be willing to make compromises when you are able. How parents handle the years after divorce often has a bigger impact on children than the divorce itself. 

That said, cooperation is not always possible. When one parent is unwilling to negotiate, or when there are concerns about a child's safety or wellbeing, being prepared to go to court is just as important as being willing to negotiate.

Call a Stafford, VA Divorce Lawyer Today

Find a lawyer who can help you support your relationship with your kids during your divorce. Attorney Meyer at Meyer & Bowden, PLLC has been recognized as a Top Divorce Lawyer by both Washingtonian Magazine and Northern Virginia Magazine. Our Prince William County divorce attorneys bring over 50 years of combined experience to every case and work hard to keep clients out of costly litigation whenever possible. We are also fully prepared to fight when that's what it takes.

 The more prepared you are, the better off you will be. Call Meyer & Bowden, PLLC at 703-722-8692 to schedule your consultation.