Posted on December 13, 2022 in Divorce

It's very tempting to use social media to tell everyone about everything that is happening in your life, especially when things are going poorly and you just want to vent. People who are going through a divorce sometimes feel a compulsion to write about the process on their social media accounts. They may even write about their spouse, perhaps blaming them for the split.

As tempting as this is, it's generally wise to keep as much of the divorce process as you can off of your social media accounts. Do not post about it and remember that these posts could be used as evidence.

How could this impact your case?

Exactly how this impacts your case depends on the specific situation you're in, but there are a few ways that it can do so.

For example, you may be trying to argue that you should have joint custody of your children, while your ex is trying to say that you are irresponsible. Your ex could try to use social media to make you appear to be an unfit parent. For instance, they could find pictures of you out at the bar with your friends and use them to claim that you are simply too irresponsible to stay home and take care of the children. You know that this isn't true, but your situation would be a lot simpler if that picture wasn't on social media to begin with.

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 Posted on December 13, 2022 in Divorce

The longer you stay married, the more property and debts you share with your spouse. Under Virginia's marital property laws, everything that you earn or acquire while married is usually marital property.

In the event of a divorce, you and your spouse either agree on your own regarding how you divide your property or you ask a judge to apply the state's equitable distribution statute to your household. Both you and your spouse have an obligation to provide honest and thorough records to one another and the courts during the property division process.

What happens if you uncover hidden property that your spouse did not disclose as they should?

You can advise the courts of their misconduct

Intentionally hiding assets is a common form of misconduct during Virginia divorces. People think that they can lie about their financial accounts or physical property, or they intentionally undervalue assets so that their spouse doesn't receive their fair share of the marital property.

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 Posted on November 29, 2022 in Divorce

Parents who divorce when their child is a toddler often think that they really aren't going to be impacted very much by the change in their family. However, just because they can't express their thoughts and worries as effectively as older kids can, that doesn't mean they don't notice all the changes.

A toddler's world is still fairly limited, so they will notice that their parents aren't together with them as much, that they're spending time alone with one parent in a new home and that maybe a grandparent or someone else they know is taking care of them more. All of these things are big changes for them.

Explaining divorce to a toddler

Don't assume that you don't need to have "the talk" with your toddler about what's going on. You just need to explain things with words and ideas they understand. They just need to know that the two of you won't be living together any longer, but you will still both be taking care of them (assuming that's the case) and that you both love them and will continue to be their parents. It's also wise to reassure them that this has nothing to do with them or anything they did.

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 Posted on November 11, 2022 in Child Custody

In a divorce where children are involved, parents usually come to some kind of co-parenting custody agreement. Parents will, typically, work together to decide what's best for their child including where they're schooled, what their diet includes and if they perform any religious activities. Additionally, parents will work out a schedule so each parent can spend time with their children, which may work around schooling and work.

Some co-parenting plans don't work out, however. A divorce may have been caused by constant arguments, negligence and abuse which can continue through a child custody order. When this happens, parents may need to consider if they're going to continue a co-parenting plan or negotiate for a parallel parenting plan. There's more you should know:

Parenting without conflicts

A parallel parenting plan works much like a co-parenting plan. Both plans give parents responsibilities and obligations to keep the best interest of their children in mind. The difference, however, is that a co-parenting plan has both parents working together and a parallel parenting plan works to reduce difficulties between parents.

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 Posted on October 28, 2022 in Divorce

During your marriage, you and your in-laws got on very well. The union of you and your spouse meant that you were part of an extended family. Now that you and your spouse have decided to go your own way, this dynamic has been turned on its head.

Your in-laws are barely civil to you anymore and they are trying to interfere with divorce proceedings. What can you do in such a scenario?

Stay composed

Your in-laws might be looking to get a reaction out of you, and if they get the desired effect, it's only going to make matters worse. Try to remain composed and approach the pivotal aspects of your divorce in a business-like manner.

Directly, your in-laws don't have a say in negotiations, so stick to the topic at hand and focus on settling matters with your spouse. Remember, it's likely that your in-laws are just trying to be in the corner of their child, and you would probably feel the same way in their situation.

Find that common ground

There are numerous things that you and your in-laws disagree on, but there is one important issue that you feel the same way about, the best interests of your child. Your in-laws love their grandchildren, there's no denying that. You feel the same and all parties just want what's best for the kids. Finding that common ground can help to smooth things over.

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 Posted on October 13, 2022 in Child Custody

Parents have to discuss many details when creating a child custody order. You and your co-parent may need to consider who picks your kids up from school or what kind of diet they need. A custody agreement is all about the well-being of your child, but it also helps parents have more control over how their child is raised - and who is raising them.

One clause that may be included in a parenting plan is the "right of first refusal." Is this the first time you've heard about this term? Here's what you should know about why you should consider it:

Entrusting your child to a babysitter isn't easy

Your co-parent may work odd hours or attend night classes, leaving your child at home alone for several hours. When this happens, your co-parent likely has someone there watching your child, but you may not know who that person is - or you may not like the person caring for your child.

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 Posted on October 10, 2022 in Child Custody

Your first holiday season after your divorce may seem lonely, or it may seem very exciting. You no longer have to compromise about how you celebrate in your own home, which is often necessary for married couples.

Whether you look forward to bringing back your family traditions for your children or you feel a bit blue about being single for the holidays, you will still need to talk about the holiday season with your ex. If you proactively coordinate the three issues below with your ex, you will set the entire family out for a smooth and pleasant holiday season.

Your holiday work schedule

Although you may have a basic outline of custody matters for school breaks and holidays, it is important to talk about the actual details. The two of you need to discuss your individual work schedules and when the children will be off of school.

Openly sharing any secondary obligations, like your office holiday party or your children's soccer gift exchange, will also be important as you coordinate the overall parenting and childcare schedule during the holiday break.

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 Posted on October 01, 2022 in Family Law

Many parents have to plan their child custody order around work and schooling. A parent who takes night classes may have a hard time scheduling to have their child over at night. Likewise, parents who work on-call jobs may not be able to see their children for long.

You may not realize this, but a parent with a disability may also have a hard time making a child custody order work. Here's what needs to be considered when the parenting plan is created:

Doctors appointments

People who have some kind of disability often have to regularly see their doctor. These appointments may be scheduled months or weeks apart. The time a parent spends at their doctor's may be impeding the time they see their child - this is just one of many things to consider when creating a custody order.

Medical treatment

Some people with disabilities have medical problems that cause them to seek emergency help and treatment constantly. Parents may need to consider how their child is cared for if they or the other parent suddenly need to be admitted to a hospital.

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 Posted on September 15, 2022 in Firm News

What is gaslighting? It refers to psychological manipulation that causes the target to question their sanity. However, gaslighting is far from simple.

Those with narcissistic personalities commonly use gaslighting to discredit the target while improving their own credibility. However, some can display gaslighting behaviors without knowing what they are doing, especially during an emotionally trying divorce.

Common gaslighting behaviors

If you are unsure whether your soon-to-be-ex is gaslighting you, the fact that you are considering it makes it a valid concern. To help you firmly identify gaslighting, look for the following behaviors:

• Assigns blame for hardships or problems to you or outside factors-but they never blame themselves.
• Dismisses your feelings by insisting that you are overly sensitive or have no reason to feel a particular way.

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 Posted on September 09, 2022 in Divorce

It is impossible to accurately predict all divorce cases. Many couples who split up never thought they would do so, and there were no signs from the outside that it was coming. There are also couples that stay together when everyone believes they're on the verge of divorce.

That said, statistically speaking, there are a few predictors of a divorce. It's important to know what these factors are so that you can understand how likely divorce may be for you.

Your parents got divorced

People with parents who got divorced may be more likely to get divorced themselves. This could simply be because divorce is now an example that they've seen in their own lives, so they're quicker to think of it than someone whose parents have not gotten a divorce.

You got married young

Getting married young can put a lot of stress on a marriage. It's often harder to make ends meet, and both people have a lot of growing up and changing to do together. For this reason, it's been found that getting married early - prior to 32 - makes it more likely that people will split up eventually.

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