At some point, as you and your spouse get closer to your divorce, you’re going to have to inform the children about what’s happening. They are definitely going to have a lot of questions, so it’s best to do this when you have time to answer them.
One thing to keep in mind, as a parent, is that the children may have very different questions and concerns than you would. Things that seem very important to you won’t even register for them, while they may be very concerned about things that you don’t think actually matter in the big picture. It’s important to understand how important these still are to your kids and to prepare answers that can help them.
What might the kids ask about your divorce?
Every child is different, of course, but there are certain things that they tend to be concerned about when they find out their parents are going to split up. A few potential questions they may ask include things like this:
- Do we need to move to a new house or a new town?
- Do I have to go to a new school?
- Will I still get to live near my friends or see them?
- Why is the divorce happening?
- Did I cause the divorce?
- Am I still going to get to see both of you?
- Are you going to get back together?
- What is going to happen to the family pet?
The best thing you can do at a time like this is to be supportive and provide answers. This is especially true when children are asking if the divorce is their fault – always assure them that it is not and that you love them. This helps you to see how you can always put your children first, and it’s wise to look into the legal options you have to do the same thing during the divorce process.