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Don't overlook tax implications when dividing property
In theory, property division should be relatively straightforward. You determine a value for your marital property and figure out the most equitable way to divide your assets. Of course, in practice, things are much more complicated.
One of the issues you'll have to watch out for when dividing property is possible tax concerns. You don't want to see the value of your share plummet when the IRS comes calling. Here are a couple of areas where taxes could become an issue.
Stock options
You should avoid taking some items at their face value. Shares of stock are one such item. $5,000 in cash and $5,000 in stocks are not the same thing. If you intend to sell stock to meet your goals of an equitable division, you could be hit with a capital gains tax. It's important to subtract the expected tax penalty to reach a more accurate value of what you're giving up.
Retirement accounts
401(k)s, and other retirement accounts can account for a substantial portion of one's assets. Keep in mind, if you were married for 20 years, you would want to avoid simply withdrawing 10 years' worth of contributions from your account and handing the proceeds over to your ex. Withdrawing from a retirement account before you've retired will result in a significant tax hit. The penalty is even greater for those under the age of 60.
Does your child's preference matter during custody proceedings?
Custody arrangements often become the central point of contention in a divorce. You and your spouse may want very different terms. If you can't agree, the family law judge presiding over your case will have to consider many different factors when they set the terms for custody for your family.
Usually, the focus is on the child's best interests, which means sharing parental responsibilities. Does a child get to have a say in the custody decision?
There is no specific age at which a child can influence custody terms
A child's preferences can be one of the factors that a judge considers when setting the terms for a parenting plan during a Virginia divorce. However, a child's wishes only have a bearing on the matter if the judge determines that they are of sufficient age and maturity to make a sound decision.
Understanding the reasoning for the child's wishes can also influence how much weight a judge gives them in making their decision. If a child says they would like to spend more time with one parent because that parent has better video game systems, a judge will consider that less than statements that one parent largely ignores them or makes them feel bad about themselves. Children don't always have wishes that align with what is ultimately best for themselves.
Who Pays For College In A Divorce?
Today, college is an essential criterion for almost any career. Regardless of your relationship with your ex-spouse, you want your children to have the best opportunities available. An important consideration during divorce proceedings, no matter the age of your children, is the question of who pays for their college.
Exploring the options for your divorce agreement
Virginia state law doesn't provide any obligations for parents to support a student past the age of 18. Depending on your child/children's age at the time of your divorce, there could be any number of life events that could occur to alter your financial state between now and when your child is set to enter college. If you want to include your child's college funding in a divorce agreement, you have a variety of options:
- Though the court can't force a parent to pay for a child's college expenses if they are over 18, they can enforce a written agreement that each parent consented to.
When visitation is a struggle, you could use virtual means
Sometimes, being there for your kids is hard. You might have a business trip or live far away. Even if you have physical custody every other week or every few days, the time between could seem like it lasts forever.
Having limited visitation time with your children may be a struggle, but the good news is that technology has created an excellent option for parents to gain more visitation time without needing to be physically present. With virtual visitation, you may be able to speak with your children, see them and interact with them all without leaving your home or job.
Who uses virtual visitation?
Many people use virtual visitation as a way to gain extra time with their children. Virtual visitation includes all kinds of interactions, such as:
- Phone calls
- Video calls
- Chatting online
- Text messaging
- Gaming together
- Using video conferencing software
With these options, you can spend more time interacting and speaking to your child, no matter what their age is or what they're doing. Some parents use video to watch school events. Others use it to help with homework. The benefit is that the child children remain in the custodial parent's home, but they still get at least a few minutes to talk to the other parent. This helps form stronger bonds and helps children see that their other parent is still thinking of them when they're apart.
Can I stake a claim to my spouse's pension if we're getting divorced?
A divorce can be jarring for anyone, no matter the stage at which one finds oneself in their life. It can be tough to deal with if you and your spouse have unequal pay or if your split happens later in life, especially if one of you is counting on retirement to support you in the future.
How common are divorces and pensions?
A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report published in 2002 captured how 20% of married couples divorced within five years of walking down the aisle. At least 33% of married couples split up within 10 years. Whereas 35% of employees had pensions in the 1990s, only 18% of working adults had them in 2002. It's unclear how much has changed in the past 18 years since the CDC compiled that data.
What right do I have to my spouse's pension?
One question that spouses often ask is what becomes of their pension once they divorce. Existing law views any earnings that you or your spouse make during the marriage as marital assets. While a judge presiding over your case may consider any funds deposited into an individual retirement account (IRA) and 401(k) before your marriage as separate property, they're likely to classify one set up during the union as a marital asset.
Four tips to keep in mind when divorcing a narcissist
You might have been willing to overlook your spouse's narcissism during the early years of your relationship. Likely, you thought that you could help them become less self-absorbed. Or, you might have believed their drawbacks were a small price to pay for their charm. Yet, staying married to a narcissist is challenging, and you may have finally decided that you have had enough. Divorcing a narcissist, though, can be equally difficult. As you prepare for yours, you will want to keep the following tips in mind.
Plan for your spouse's reaction
Narcissists feel threatened when they lose sources to validate them. By telling your spouse you want a divorce, they will likely hit the roof. To prepare for this possibility, you will want to set a plan in place to protect yourself and cut off contact with them immediately as needed. If you can afford a new home or apartment, you may want to have one ready. If you and your spouse have children, you may want a friend or relative help you with custody exchanges. And if your spouse's narcissism is not only toxic, but dangerous, you may need to file a protective order against them.
Divorce and your future: You're now in control
Once you decide to divorce, you realize that you now have full control over your future. You no longer have to consider your spouse when making decisions, such as those pertaining to your finances, career, hobbies and personal life in general.
Of course, this brings more responsibility to your life, as you don't have anyone else to lean on.
Do these things to ensure that you maintain control over your future:
- Create a budget: This gives you guidance in regards to how much you earn, how much you can afford to spend and how to set both short- and long-term goals.
- Form a support group: It's easy for your mental state to take a hit when dealing with the aftermath of divorce. Fortunately, when you have a support group to lean on, it's easier to get through any rough patches that come your way.
- Understand your parenting agreement: This is critical if you have children with your ex. It outlines things such as who has physical custody, who has legal custody, visitation rights for the noncustodial parent and how to manage special events. When you understand and follow your , you'll always feel that you have better control over this part of your life.
How to protect your finances as you prepare for divorce
Maybe you're thinking about asking your spouse for a divorce. Or maybe you've already had this conversation and it's time to turn your attention to the process itself.
Either way, it's a must that you protect your finances to the best of your ability. Neglecting to do so will add stress to an already difficult time in your life.
There are a variety of ways to protect your finances as you prepare for divorce, including but not limited to the following:
- Create a property and debt division checklist: This is a list of all the assets and liabilities that will come into play during your divorce. For example, common assets include the family home, bank accounts, retirement accounts and motor vehicles. Liabilities are things such as credit cards, personal loans and home equity lines of credit. When creating this checklist, make a separate list for any assets and debts that are individual, as opposed to marital.
- Create a budget: Your post-divorce budget is critical to maintaining financial stability. When you create a budget early on, you have a better idea of what to expect after your divorce is finalized. Keep in mind that your budget in the future won't be anything like your budget from the past.
Will adultery affect your divorce?
When you found out that your spouse was cheating, you were furious. You were upset that they weren't honest with you and that they didn't seem to care that they broke your trust.
Immediately, you felt like you wanted to get divorced, but you know that your spouse's adultery could be made public. Your biggest concern is privacy with this delicate issue, but you do want to make sure you walk away with what you need. Does proving adultery impact your case? If so, is it beneficial to bring it up in court?
If your spouse cheats, it could help your case
The first thing to know is that a case of adultery isn't necessary to get a divorce. You can divorce for any reason in Virginia. As a result, the adultery itself doesn't have to be reported to start your case.
Can you get a divorce if your spouse leaves?
You wake up to find a note from your spouse on the kitchen table. It tells you that they're done with the marriage, they're leaving and they're not coming back. Now what? Can you seek a divorce?
Technically, you are still married. You can get a divorce on the grounds of desertion or abandonment, however. That enables you to legally end the marriage so that you can move forward with your life — even if it's very clear that the marriage is, for all intents and purposes, already over.
There are a few things you should know. If your spouse claims that you did something to make them leave — like abusing them — then that changes everything. It's not desertion in the law's eyes if they had reason to leave. They may even attempt to seek criminal proceedings against you.
The next thing that you should know if that desertion is not the same as mutually agreeing to part ways. For instance, if you and your spouse had a conversation about taking some time apart and they decided to do it, you can't claim they abandoned you. Couples often take time apart to see if they can make the marriage work or if they need to get divorced.


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