Negotiating child custody with a difficult spouse

On Behalf of | Sep 13, 2021 | Child custody

After being in a difficult marriage, you and your spouse may have decided to divorce. As you grieve the loss of your dreams, you may also be experiencing fear. What will happen? How will the divorce affect your children?

To make your split even more painful, your spouse may be a difficult person to live with, let alone negotiate with. They may have already told you that child custody or visitation will go their way.

A divorce doesn’t have to become even more difficult

From finances, the house and splitting the bills in half you and your spouse may be trying to come to an agreement on child custody and visitation. You may be concerned for the emotional well-being of your children.

Your spouse has a history of being difficult. Their actions and words have led to your children crying in the past. The children may have expressed some fear of their other parent.

Put the children and their needs first

As you and your spouse discuss the custody of your children, put their needs first. Their emotions may be in turmoil during this time. They need your love and attention more now. When you try to remind your spouse of this, they may grow angry and accuse you of calling them “abusive.”

Remind your children that they are not responsible for your pending divorce. Express your love to them frequently. Try not to speak badly of your spouse in front of your children.

Mediation and self-care

When you are alone, work on a plan for your new life. This includes putting the best interests of your children and yourself first.

Acknowledge your emotions. You may be sad, angry and fearful. At times, your emotions may overwhelm you. Learning more about the mediation process may give you the tools you need to keep your children’s needs in mind.