If you prefer to settle your divorce amicably instead of spending months in litigation, you need to know the facts. Many divorces end up in lengthy battles due to the unrealistic ambitions of one party who has not taken the time to understand the laws with which any judge must work.

Many parents have unrealistic child custody expectations. People often confuse being a poor spouse with being a bad parent. They may try to convince the judge to award them sole custody, claiming their spouse is unfit to parent. They support their argument with a long list of their partner’s failings like these:

  • She was late to pick up their son from football twice in the last month.
  • She sometimes drinks a whole bottle of wine in a night.
  • He burnt the children’s dinner the one time his wife did not cook.
  • He does not know how to plait his daughter’s hair.

Any judge will take a more objective view. After all, there may have been a reason the mom was late, and an occasional bottle of wine does not mean you have a drinking problem. As for the dad, everyone burns the dinner occasionally, and anyone can learn to plait hair. The number one priority for any judge in a divorce is doing what is best for the children. Multiple studies have shown that unless there are extenuating circumstances, it is best for children if both parents continue to take an active role in their life.

Other things considered in children’s best interests are:

  • To maintain contact with their extended family where possible
  • To have a stable home environment
  • To avoid unnecessary disruption of their education
  • To consider their wishes

Consult a family law attorney to understand what demands are and are not reasonable regarding child custody arrangements.